Thursday, December 18, 2014

#RealTalk with Criminal Tendency

If you really knew me, you'd know that I am LOUD. It's only around family, and very close friends. I love just making noise, and maybe I overcompensate for when I'm out in public. Because when I'm in public, I don't make any noise at all.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I drive a 1990 Red Jeep Wrangler that always seems to be breaking down.

If you really knew me, you'd know that I used to wear a black fedora. I got it from a surf shop in Florida, and I thought it was the coolest thing at the time. I've never really been able to stop wearing hats since then, so you'll probably always see me wearing a baseball cap or something. I think I have an addiction?

 If you really knew me you'd know that Mac n' cheese is my favorite food, and I love meeting knew people but I can't communicate my thoughts well.

That's probably the reason I like this blogging thing so much. And texting.

If you really knew me you'd know that I'm about as awkward as sitting around in a creative writing class in silence for 30 seconds because no one wants to read someone else's blog.

I am just trying to act normal.
I am not normal, so I just don't talk.


I don't really have a criminal tendency.
But, I am a crook. (Ba-Dum Tisss.)

In all honesty though,

I am Tyler Crook.
































Sunday, December 14, 2014

Memories

I remember sitting on the swing by the porch. Eating blue-flavored double-stick popsicles. Mine always broke before I was finished eating it.

I remember getting together with the entire neighborhood and playing hide-and-seek in the dark. Nobody ever wanted to be the searcher, because hiding is always more fun.

I remember the day I saw my dad cry for the first time. I'd never seen him cry in my entire life, and we've cried a lot more since then.

I remember sitting in the car with my family, and making up our own games because those were the best kind. Especially on long road trips. I always came up with rules that favored me.

I remember when I saw you for the first time.

I remember when I saw you the last time.

I remember how I used to sit in sacrament meeting and think about anything and everything that wasn't sacrament meeting.

I remember the straight-back, fold-up, cold, metal chairs that I was always so good at balancing against the wall.

I remember when I crammed a pencil into the fan and how you promised that you wouldn't tell mom.

I remember playing the piano everyday. I can sometimes still hear the monotone tick tick tick of the metronome. Always ticking away.

I remember that secret pocket on the inside of that jacket I never really liked. I only wore it because of that pocket.

I remember elementary school. I had wear a uniform. They said that uniforms were a good thing, and it was supposed to stop the bullying about what we wear and make us all the same. But it didn't, and they found other things. We looked the same, but I didn't feel like we were equals.

I remember crying during class. I just couldn't help it. I said my eyes were red because of allergies.

I remember when you showed me how to make a paper crane. I still make paper cranes, and they are never as good as yours were.

I remember being tucked in at night, and reading until my eyes wouldn't budge. Now I fall asleep to the sound of YouTube videos, and Netflix movie marathons instead.

I remember taking walks at night, and the streetlamps that never liked you.

I remember when shoulder were for holding each other close, and not used for launch-pads that kept you above at the cost of someone else.


It seems that there are quite a few emotions in a life.
In fact,
You could say the we've all been on quite the roller coaster, and it isn't even half way done.
I'm trying not to fall off.
I don't want to be left in the dust.


I'll have to get back up, shake the dust, and make more memories.
 And never forget.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Coffee for the Heart

Heart,

I'm just looking for some coffee. Black, sugar, cream, whatever.

I need some caffeine.

When I've finally found the coffee stained mug filled with the sweet, bitter aroma. It's empty.
This mug is empty, waiting for a fresh batch.

Too bad all these people won't drink coffee.
It might be easier to find some if they did.

Sincerely,

Someone who needs a brewed beverage. 
The end

Sunday, November 9, 2014

The nature of grammar

i'm not even close to perfect with my grammar, but i like to try and at least make it look nice

 my handwriting is absolutely terrible

i try to compensate that by making as few errors as possible while typing on the computer

but i'm looking through all these amazing blog posts and i cant help but notice a certain pattern

the ones that really blow me away

never use capitalization

one liners are usually the best because big paragraphs can be scary

people can't take too much at once. better space it out a little

i don't know if i'll be able to adapt to this new form of writing

i've always been so formal and conservative in the way i type

that's over now

i'm in this english class and i'm making my writing look grammatically incorrect on purpose

and yet we love it so.


-------------------------------------------------
being in is better than out

never really been much of a scout

this poem started in the middle of the page

apparently doing things different is all the rage

its time to experiment with everything in sight

i'm trying,

i'm trying,

i'm trying with all my might

i don't want to go camping

nature gives me such grief

i'd rather stay inside with my computer

 writing poems about nature

i'm my own command and chief
--------------------------------------------------



if you didn't catch anything else of what i've said so far,



I don't like nature

Can I please write better now?

Refrigerator




Sunday, November 2, 2014

Murphy's Law and Car Accidents

This is a very dangerous game.

 The chance of dying in a car accident is one out of 100. But that won't stop me from driving.

I don't know enough about death to be influenced by it. It just seems like a bad dream.

And dreams aren't all that bad once you wake up. Though I should know better.


I don't want to believe he's there. It must be the long willow tree branches. Softly knocking away at my window.  Urging to be let inside.

I still don't let death in.   He knocks

   And Knocks.

           And Knocks.

My teeth are clenched and my eyes are strained from forcing myself to blink. This is what happens every time I experience the new. My efforts are futile. I try to look composed and comfortable, but every last part of me screams to disappear. Like the winds of a soft summer day turned sour, corrupted by the murky overcast of a thunderstorm passing by. 


I want to go back to the familiar. 
Can I go back? 
Or will they think me stranger for doing so?

They want me to experiment, but I feel like Murphy's Law is in effect.
Everything that can go wrong will.
This is all too overwhelming. 

When I'm

Afraid,
 Confused,
  Embarrassed,
  Anxious,
 Timid,
Sad.


Not even death is a match for the monster of emotions that looms out in front of this path. 
Grim reaper Vs. My Feelings
And he's having trouble even putting up a fight. 



My chances of dying are just as good as yours are. It's all starting to sink in.

and I'm sinking. 

My hands are trembling.
The depths of depression are starting to take root. Before my head is completely taken by the madness that is inevitable.
My hands are trembling.


I don't want to have any regrets, so I might as well start checking a few things off this bucket list.
We aren't given a specific chance of dying. It is guaranteed that we will die, 100%.
We are given a chance at life, and we get to control the odds. 



So grab that magic 8-ball, and give it a whirl, because no matter the outcome,

It doesn't really matter. 



















Sunday, October 26, 2014

Viruses and Popsicles



Prologue

 I'm so bored of really depressing posts. I suppose that is what you're going to get if you make the
topic "Fear". I just seems to me that even without a topic like fear there's always a way to make a post about something gloomy. So it must be true that I can make a post about fear that isn't depressing? Rather than dwelling on what I currently fear, let's figure out a few irrational things that I used to fear.



I used to be afraid of computer viruses. At one point I was convinced that it was some kind of disease that you could actually catch. Its origin probably rooted from those cheesy videos they used to show us in elementary school about computer/net safety. I have a vague memory  of a cartoon showing a kid sitting at his computer, while a dark murky cloud of something took over the screen. Good thing is that I now realize how irrational that was. Otherwise I wouldn't be typing this blog right now.
Maybe some day in the future there will be a computer virus that you can actually catch.



DUUN-DUUN-DUUUUUUUUUN. *Pause for effect.*


I was afraid of that cold feeling you get when you bite into Popsicle with your front teeth. I would very carefully bite it with the very backs of my teeth to ensure I didn't get that shock of cold pain. But that's probably how it is for everyone. They probably didn't fear it though.


At night right before you fall asleep I would listen to my own heartbeat. And I was afraid of it. Why is it so loud? Will it stop? What if it stops? When I was younger I hated laying on my side because, I could hear my heartbeat easier with my ear pressed against the pillow. And that repeated thumping made it extremely hard to sleep.



Thankfully, as all my irrational fear have passed so far. These ones did too.


Have a good day everyone.